"SuperMom" mentality hurts Feminism = Time to raise "SuperDads"
It is shocking and disheartening that in 2013 women still feel obligated to "do it all" in life, be great at all their jobs, singularly, without equal help. Women are often full time employees taking on any and all family affairs in their "spare time." It is not unusual that women work full time, and still take on the bulk of household duties including cooking, cleaning, childcare & pet care responsibilities. (They also tend to take on family emergencies, elderly care, and neighborhood support.) It's time to develop a different social standard/dynamic and stop letting men off the hook for falling short of "equal labor" contributions in the home. This starts with women letting themselves off the hook for all the home responsibilities. Delegate some tasks to your partner, after all it's his home/kids/health too! Hold him accountable.
It isn't that all women are somehow better at domestic chores than men, it's that we just DO IT. We act. We don't wait for someone else to take over. Why? Because, as women, we are told that's what we should do. We just pack kids lunches, check back packs for homework, pick up the dirty socks in the front hall, clean the dogs ears, make dentist & doctors appointments, clear away dirty dishes, etc, etc.; all while managing to get ourselves organized too. Why is it SO second nature for us, and seems SO difficult for some men to chip in, even with THEIR OWN messes? Training! Either in childhood, or by their partners just taking over. Men are not incapable of adult independence, but given the opportunity to slack, most take it. They are trained from a very early age to be dependent on others, specifically women.
From boyhood, males are given a "free pass," an excuse for being messy--"he's a boy" (as if it's innately in them to be slovenly, inept and non-domesticated; it isn't. Anyone can be trained to clean up after themselves.) So, who's to blame for your spouse not doing the kids laundry, or thinking to load the dishwasher, or buy more toothpaste on his way home? Initially, his parents for not raising him to be aware. But secondly, you (and society) for allowing him to get away with it. Lets change the dynamic for future generations by breaking this "SuperMom" mentality. Just because we can do it all, doesn't mean we should. Lets train the next generation of men to be more independent & responsible. This begins, ironically, with Moms. Stop engendering chores.
Mothers tend to cater to their sons (more than daughters who often help with laundry, cooking, & cleaning) demanding less independence in household chores. Chores are often very gender-specific (like mowing the lawn) rather than teaching boys to clean their own bathrooms & wash their own clothes. It's a product of our larger society, but as individual parents, we need to pay close attention to the way we raise our sons. Don't excuse their messy bedroom as simply "a boy thing." Make him clean up. Train him early that it is HIS responsibility to help with dinner, clear the table, fold his laundry, etc (not Mom's). And that in the future, it will be his adult responsibility to clean the house, mind the kids, and organize family details. His future partner will thank you.
Let's raise more domesticated men; it's an important step in our battle for gender equality!
{and since I have a husband who is pretty darn domesticated, I feel obligated to thank my mother-in-law for raising such a son}
It isn't that all women are somehow better at domestic chores than men, it's that we just DO IT. We act. We don't wait for someone else to take over. Why? Because, as women, we are told that's what we should do. We just pack kids lunches, check back packs for homework, pick up the dirty socks in the front hall, clean the dogs ears, make dentist & doctors appointments, clear away dirty dishes, etc, etc.; all while managing to get ourselves organized too. Why is it SO second nature for us, and seems SO difficult for some men to chip in, even with THEIR OWN messes? Training! Either in childhood, or by their partners just taking over. Men are not incapable of adult independence, but given the opportunity to slack, most take it. They are trained from a very early age to be dependent on others, specifically women.
From boyhood, males are given a "free pass," an excuse for being messy--"he's a boy" (as if it's innately in them to be slovenly, inept and non-domesticated; it isn't. Anyone can be trained to clean up after themselves.) So, who's to blame for your spouse not doing the kids laundry, or thinking to load the dishwasher, or buy more toothpaste on his way home? Initially, his parents for not raising him to be aware. But secondly, you (and society) for allowing him to get away with it. Lets change the dynamic for future generations by breaking this "SuperMom" mentality. Just because we can do it all, doesn't mean we should. Lets train the next generation of men to be more independent & responsible. This begins, ironically, with Moms. Stop engendering chores.
Mothers tend to cater to their sons (more than daughters who often help with laundry, cooking, & cleaning) demanding less independence in household chores. Chores are often very gender-specific (like mowing the lawn) rather than teaching boys to clean their own bathrooms & wash their own clothes. It's a product of our larger society, but as individual parents, we need to pay close attention to the way we raise our sons. Don't excuse their messy bedroom as simply "a boy thing." Make him clean up. Train him early that it is HIS responsibility to help with dinner, clear the table, fold his laundry, etc (not Mom's). And that in the future, it will be his adult responsibility to clean the house, mind the kids, and organize family details. His future partner will thank you.
Let's raise more domesticated men; it's an important step in our battle for gender equality!
{and since I have a husband who is pretty darn domesticated, I feel obligated to thank my mother-in-law for raising such a son}
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